The (Hilarious) Taste of India.
I got the taste of a very untouched (read it "crude") Indianness on my flight back to Mumbai from Udaipur. It was my second flight, first being just 2 days ago. As a normal human tendency, I was trying to look very natural & pose to be very much acquainted to this atmosphere as if I am a very frequent flier. Most passengers
were "Firangs" who were trying to act too friendly while some too snobbish. Whenever I see these particular Homo sapiens I automatically want to scream "Simon go back".....
Well, I had checked in my luggage & was wondering whether they will take care of my precious luggage or should i have carried it along.
Suddenly i saw a "Safedi ki chamkaar". Nothing extra-terrestrial….He was a guy of about 25-26 yrs. of medium height, walked little bent..... I think the
stiff corduroy pant could be the reason for it, little dark complexioned and adorning a very WHITE shirt & matching shoes. To add insult to the injury he had streaked his hair blond.
Though very Un-Indian from head to toe, deep inside was a typical Indian-Dude. He came and sat next to me. I wasn’t feeling very lucky about it though.
And then started the worst part........... He had in his hands a plate full of what looked like "yesterday’s left sabji sandwich" & lot of Tomato sauce splashed over it. I have no problems with people satisfying their guts but i HATE the sounds accompanying them. He happily went on "Chomp-Chomp-Chomp". It was so loud that the announcements were difficult to understand. I was reading "Jughead".... What a coincidence!!!! But Jughead looked so cute chomping away. A firang lady next to him gave him an dirty look. Suddenly i felt sympathetic for mere vatan ka munda. Finally, my ordeal ended & he went away but he returned again with his hands full of another plate. I suddenly developed interest in the antic jewelry shop.......& left my seat.
After the security check we were waiting for the departure & what a delight I got to notice the Jitender enter. He had a bar of chocolate in his hand.
Wanted to ask how he maintains his slim figure. He went straight in front (infact very much below) of the TV. The TV was quite wide & could be watched from atleast 2 mtrs away........ lekin hume to bhai sabse aage khade rehena hai. News was being shown.......
He shook his head in despair at the discussion of the Indian team performance in the ongoing cricket matches. Idhar- udhar dekha & found another spectator. Started a serious discussion with him. Suddenly his eye caught on a skimpily clad blond & her male companion who were asking the airport personnel some queries. Apne hero ka HELPING Nature peeche kaise reheta? To my amazement he went straight to them & said "Need halp??" They were questioning him& he was simply nodding & all I could glean was "yah, yah". I doubt whether either party got any clue. Came to his rescue his swanky red mobile with a “Himmesh Reshamiya” Rt. He excused himself & started talking. I couldn’t understand why he required a distant communication system when he had such a buland awaaz. A little louder & he could communicate without mobile. “Mane Maja ma cho…… Nathi karvanu……… Nathi….Mane chokri pasand nathi awanu chu….” What a lucky escape for that girl…..…. I thought. He was oblivious of the stares thrown towards him. The flight departure broke my concentration & we boarded the flight.
When I last saw him……we were at the Mumbai airport & he was hurrying- scurrying to get a pen from somewhere. Then I realized…… Rekha, the film actress was sitting, looking all important. “Sign please” he smiled a wide smile matching Rekhajis.
Though very irritating, what I admired about that guy was his ignorance towards others. He was in his own world, not at all bothered about his surroundings.
A thought occurred to me……….. Sometimes we try to be more sophisticated than we really are, more cultured in our thinking than what we really think and in the process miss small pleasures of life. Why do we suppress ourselves to make the slurping noise while finishing the last drop of coke in a silent theater…..coz it’s multiplex? Why don’t we sing the melodies in our mind loudly in a bus………cos it’s crowded? Why don’t we lick our fingers off the masala in a hotel……….cos it’s too plush? Why do we suppress our laughter when somebody falls……..cos it’s etiquettes? But it’s all for the sake of others. I felt like screaming “Simon go back” but what about another Simon residing in myself who hammers me to do things in a lady-like manner? Scientifically, licking fingers aids in digestion, singing loudly strengthens the lungs & laughing loudly makes you feel happy. Maybe when some Baba or a US- proven theory comes out we will again follow them.
Its tough to unlearn what we have learnt since childhood…….but once in a while I’d also like to unwind & become a little “un-phoren” & a lot more Indian.
I got the taste of a very untouched (read it "crude") Indianness on my flight back to Mumbai from Udaipur. It was my second flight, first being just 2 days ago. As a normal human tendency, I was trying to look very natural & pose to be very much acquainted to this atmosphere as if I am a very frequent flier. Most passengers
were "Firangs" who were trying to act too friendly while some too snobbish. Whenever I see these particular Homo sapiens I automatically want to scream "Simon go back".....
Well, I had checked in my luggage & was wondering whether they will take care of my precious luggage or should i have carried it along.
Suddenly i saw a "Safedi ki chamkaar". Nothing extra-terrestrial….He was a guy of about 25-26 yrs. of medium height, walked little bent..... I think the
stiff corduroy pant could be the reason for it, little dark complexioned and adorning a very WHITE shirt & matching shoes. To add insult to the injury he had streaked his hair blond.
Though very Un-Indian from head to toe, deep inside was a typical Indian-Dude. He came and sat next to me. I wasn’t feeling very lucky about it though.
And then started the worst part........... He had in his hands a plate full of what looked like "yesterday’s left sabji sandwich" & lot of Tomato sauce splashed over it. I have no problems with people satisfying their guts but i HATE the sounds accompanying them. He happily went on "Chomp-Chomp-Chomp". It was so loud that the announcements were difficult to understand. I was reading "Jughead".... What a coincidence!!!! But Jughead looked so cute chomping away. A firang lady next to him gave him an dirty look. Suddenly i felt sympathetic for mere vatan ka munda. Finally, my ordeal ended & he went away but he returned again with his hands full of another plate. I suddenly developed interest in the antic jewelry shop.......& left my seat.
After the security check we were waiting for the departure & what a delight I got to notice the Jitender enter. He had a bar of chocolate in his hand.
Wanted to ask how he maintains his slim figure. He went straight in front (infact very much below) of the TV. The TV was quite wide & could be watched from atleast 2 mtrs away........ lekin hume to bhai sabse aage khade rehena hai. News was being shown.......
He shook his head in despair at the discussion of the Indian team performance in the ongoing cricket matches. Idhar- udhar dekha & found another spectator. Started a serious discussion with him. Suddenly his eye caught on a skimpily clad blond & her male companion who were asking the airport personnel some queries. Apne hero ka HELPING Nature peeche kaise reheta? To my amazement he went straight to them & said "Need halp??" They were questioning him& he was simply nodding & all I could glean was "yah, yah". I doubt whether either party got any clue. Came to his rescue his swanky red mobile with a “Himmesh Reshamiya” Rt. He excused himself & started talking. I couldn’t understand why he required a distant communication system when he had such a buland awaaz. A little louder & he could communicate without mobile. “Mane Maja ma cho…… Nathi karvanu……… Nathi….Mane chokri pasand nathi awanu chu….” What a lucky escape for that girl…..…. I thought. He was oblivious of the stares thrown towards him. The flight departure broke my concentration & we boarded the flight.
When I last saw him……we were at the Mumbai airport & he was hurrying- scurrying to get a pen from somewhere. Then I realized…… Rekha, the film actress was sitting, looking all important. “Sign please” he smiled a wide smile matching Rekhajis.
Though very irritating, what I admired about that guy was his ignorance towards others. He was in his own world, not at all bothered about his surroundings.
A thought occurred to me……….. Sometimes we try to be more sophisticated than we really are, more cultured in our thinking than what we really think and in the process miss small pleasures of life. Why do we suppress ourselves to make the slurping noise while finishing the last drop of coke in a silent theater…..coz it’s multiplex? Why don’t we sing the melodies in our mind loudly in a bus………cos it’s crowded? Why don’t we lick our fingers off the masala in a hotel……….cos it’s too plush? Why do we suppress our laughter when somebody falls……..cos it’s etiquettes? But it’s all for the sake of others. I felt like screaming “Simon go back” but what about another Simon residing in myself who hammers me to do things in a lady-like manner? Scientifically, licking fingers aids in digestion, singing loudly strengthens the lungs & laughing loudly makes you feel happy. Maybe when some Baba or a US- proven theory comes out we will again follow them.
Its tough to unlearn what we have learnt since childhood…….but once in a while I’d also like to unwind & become a little “un-phoren” & a lot more Indian.
2 comments:
Only two words for it...truly amazing!!!Beautifuly written and amaizing noticing power and yes hillarious too.
Well, next time we got to IMAX remind me to finish off the last drop of coke and brup loudly :-) .
kritika
good One
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